Short jokes

Short jokes

Vasectomy

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

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  • Blood Type

    My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

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  • Blow job

    What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

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  • End

    So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

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  • Evidence

    If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

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  • Prostate exam

    I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

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  • Depression

    What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

    Alcohol

    If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?

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  • Dairy

    Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

    Tesla

    New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.

    Chernobyl

    I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

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