Short jokes
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______