Short jokes

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."

Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

They are hairy.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

What's the best finger for fingering A minor?

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

Transgenders! Men in disguise!

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.