Short jokes
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.