Short jokes
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"