Short jokes
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
What did Obama ask Trump?
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!