Short jokes
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
F*ck you.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.