Short jokes
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
"Alexa, open Kahoot!"
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.