Short jokes
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!
Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.
I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?