Short jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
What kind of drinks does Michael Joseph Jackson like to drink? Boysenberry tea-hee-hee, and tea-hee-hee.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.