Short jokes
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!