Short jokes

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

LEZZZZZZ GOOOOO! 69 FOLLOWERS!

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

There are two types of people, avoid them both.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?

A s'more.

"Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at Shrek."

Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?

A: "Free Fallin'"

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

I'm all panic and no disco.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.