Short jokes
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"
What's 1 + 1? For some people, it's 1 #unibrow.
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”