Short jokes
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
A true God would be godless himself.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.