Short jokes
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
Yooooooooooooooooooooooo!
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?
Because they return eventually.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
What’s an orphan's high school nickname?
Lone stone.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!