Short jokes

Short jokes

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.