Short jokes
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.