Short jokes

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

ISI?

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

I once saw a noose joke.

I wanna know how to make one :D

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Nacho.

Nacho who?

Nacho Cheese!

Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?

Panera fled.

They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.