Short jokes
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.