Short jokes
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"