Short jokes

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?

A: He got nailed first.

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.

Two orphans fighting in the rain.

What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.

What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?

JENGA!!!!

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

How do sick Mexicans say hello?

"Ebola."

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.