Short jokes
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
Read my name.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Speed.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.