Short jokes
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
asdf.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.