Short jokes
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.