Short jokes
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
Weedle will make you high.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.