Short jokes
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.