Short jokes
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Mayonnaise marry me?
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
modern feminism.
America.
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.