Short jokes
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Guess McAfee doesn’t clear all computer viruses.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
PhashaunAnimationz
But why?
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.