Short jokes
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.