Short jokes
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.