Short jokes
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
Rust in peace.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
What would good be if it was a place?
It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.