Short jokes
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.