Short jokes
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Your AMAMA.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"