Short jokes
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Christianity.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!