Short jokes

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?

Because he’s dead.

You idiot.

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

The joke is u.

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?

None, it's all tongue and groove...

Most of the jokes are trash.

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.

I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.