Short jokes
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Everyone reading this is gay!
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
Swallow cum, not gum.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"