Short jokes
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?
He made her.
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
G@y 👌
Your
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.