My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
Short Jokes
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Wat?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
