Short jokes

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

When do you take a cow to the movies?

On a mooo-vie!

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

Let's taco about something.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Oofer.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

Two nuns in a bath.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

¿Hola, quién es?

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.