Short jokes
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
Why am I so sad?
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...