Short jokes

Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Answer: Because they taste funny!

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

Why didn't Sally get home from work?

She got hit by a bus.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Eggs don’t cum.

What did the doctor say to the potato?

It told it it had tuberculosis.