Short jokes
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Corn and corn, where is popcorn?
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
Khalil Abubakar
You make the juice go through my power brick.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.