Short jokes
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
It's punny.
My sexlife xddddddddd
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.