Short jokes
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
PORNHUB
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
I sucked your mom's anus.
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.