Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
Short Jokes
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
You need to fuck off with this website. It's shit.
Follow me on Twitch @EddyTheSurfer.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Small People.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
