Short jokes
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Quiz: Turn what for what?
A joke.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Pool table.