How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
Short Jokes
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
