Short jokes
I love the letters of the alphabet.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
What do you call funny waves? Wave Chappelle.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.