Short jokes
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Ttt.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Your reflection.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.