Short jokes
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.