What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
This is a joke. Laugh now or else.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
"Room, you on."
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
