Short jokes
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!