Short jokes

"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."

Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.

Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?

So he could querk.

Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?

Because he had a toilet call in the drain.

Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?

A: They always seem to cut a little too close.

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?

So they don't explode when you f*** them.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"

Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?

To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the studio?

To drop some LEAD.

SLADE is the reason they invented the PAUSE BUTTON.

Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.