Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Short Jokes
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
Which room has no doors and no windows?
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
nOnBiNaRy TrAsH
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
