Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Short Jokes
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?
Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!
He jizzes canned cheese.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
Heyyyyyy!
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
