Short jokes
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
What do you call a rapper who took a dump?
Lil' Crappie.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!