Short jokes
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.