Short jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Hey ummm help!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
Your life, that's all.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.