Short jokes
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.