Short jokes
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!
Be careful, because I heard that NASA is going to send a rover to Uranus.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
Do you know what's lonely?
Your lips, wanna meet mine?
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Pizza Hut.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
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