Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Short Jokes
Prankster pranks.
Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.
Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.
Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.
Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Dani: What's so funny?
Tess: Your face! 'Cause you're ugly!
Dani: WHY!!!!!!!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Kyler, go on this one.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
