Short jokes
How do you be friends with a musician?
B minor.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Penny.
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Candis.
Candis who?
Candis nuts fit in your mouth?
Yo forehead is so freaking big, but not bigger than my BBC. 😏
All y'all weird af.
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.