Short jokes
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
Bitch!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
Ruhan.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Woahhhhhhh, we’re halfway theeeere! WOAHHHHHHH OHHHH, Squidward on a chaIIIir!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Why do orphans have an iPhone 10?
Because it doesn't have a joke button.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.