Short jokes

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?

A: A rocket chip.

John, I like your cut, G.

Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.

The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.

Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?

THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Comment if you're not vaccinated and don't plan to be!

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).