Short jokes
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
The only joke here is the topic.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Roses are white, violets are white, everything is white. I’m racist.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.